Moth invasion – monologue


They crawled into my knicker draw, but drew the line at cotton

sought out wooly mittens and chewed them something rotten.

Cavorted round my cashmere tops, chomped my knitted hat

made patterns in my pink silk frock so that’s the end of that.

They liked the smell of moth balls and those repellent sprays

they laughed at all my efforts that carried on for days.

I made a plan to beat them, so turned the light on quick

and jumped around with newspaper rolled into a stick

They flew into the curtains and in the folds they’d lurk

then sent out one to make a truce that sent me quite beserk

When confident, I’d got him with a bash upon his head

he came dancing down the duvet lying on the bed

I’m sure that they were laughing waiting for the lull

and thought they’d try to humour me by seeming weak and dull.

Fighting is so tiring and my best frocks still in tatters

but then it wouldn’t fit me now, so none of it now matters.

My new clothes come with moth free signs or I keep them in a packet

so the moths will die of  boredom, which will stop their wicked racket.

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