This lovely sign above a pub near the Steine
is the pettiest queen I can manage today,
but as Brighton is considered to be the ‘gay’
capital of the country plenty of ‘queens’ must abound!
A nonsense poem about a King, Queen and a Jester
you need to feel in very childish mood to read it!
The Green Tights
The king was feeling tetchy;
he did not like the cold.
He had to wear his socks in bed
which made him feel so old.
The Queen said, “Get up darling
you’ve got to rule the land,”
and swept out to cut some roses
with secateurs in hand.
The Princess Pearl was dreaming
of a Prince down by the lake.
With bug eyed frogs, without a spell,
this was a big mistake.
The jester was in love with her;
he saw his chance at last.
He slipped into some fetching tights,
put on a froggy mask.
From a draughty castle window
the King saw a sorry sight,
a jumping green court jester
with very manly thighs.
The princess said “For goodness sake
I know you are a fake”,
and pushed the hapless jester
into the froggy lake.
The King called “Stop this nonsense,
but where did you get those tights?
They look so warm and cosy
they would keep me warm at night.”
The Queen called out “I’ll knit you some
but you’ve got a land to rule.
So please my dear get on with it
while I rescue the poor fool.”.
The Princess started laughing
at the poor jester’s fate,
as a handsome prince came riding
(well he would wouldn’t he?)
up to the castle gate.
He was tired of slaying dragons
and the queen had got a net.
So the jester jumped right into it
and everyone got wet.
The Princess and Prince were married
and the king is warm in bed,
wearing long green woolly tights
and his crown upon his head.
The Queen now runs their kingdom
with a dragon’s enterprise.
Her right hand man’s a jester
which comes as no surprise.
Thankfully the end!